My Relationship With Food...

A delicate topic for some and certainly one that has caused me to reflect over the last month or so.

I am here to talk about my relationship with food which, to be honest, has been a bit of a rollercoaster for me so, strap yourself in as this could be a long one!

Growing up, I never really worried about food. I come from quite a fit family and was brought up doing gymnastics and swimming then horse riding and dance... Food for us always contained meat, plenty of fruit and veggies, so a fairly well balanced diet.

I never really became concerned about my weight/shape until I was in high school - a classic time for any young person to develop insecurities. For a school performance of Grease, my final show in high school, I was playing the part of Sandy. I started using My Fitness Pal and, as it always does, it calculated me to eat 1200 calories a day (I will go on to my opinions of this later). At this point I was dancing for about 3 hours on a Saturday and horse riding once a week but aside from that, I didn't do much in the way of exercise. And granted, I lost weight and was happy with how I looked for Grease and for my end of Sixth Form.

I now know that this was restrictive eating.

I would never say I had an eating disorder as I don't think that was the case at all. What I think I had was naivety when it came to food and I didn't really care what I put in my body as long as it hit those 1200kcals per day. I would 100% restrict myself if I knew I was going to have a bigger meal/go out. This in turn would lead to binges and making myself feel guilty for having a piece of food that was going to make me go even slightly over.

I became obsessed with counting calories, grams of carbs and the number on the scales.

Fast-forward around 5 years and I am in a much healthier place both physically and mentally with my attitude towards food. The first big difference is that I am now weight training around 4 times a week with 1 cardio session (zumba, because I love it). Secondly, I see food as fuel and is absolutely fundamental to assisting in my goals of muscle and strength building. I am still struggling with counting calories but having tracked for so many years, I now know a lot more about what it is in certain food items and am trying to swap to a more 'intuitive' way of eating.

If I'm hungry, I will have a drink or have a snack and I will no longer feel guilty. If I want to eat a pizza or a burger, I will. It's not about restriction, it is about eating well 80% of the time and eating what I want 20% of the time and it doesn't matter.

I have given up weighing myself for Lent. Since I started lifting weights, just over a year ago, the number on the scales went up due to muscle mass (gainz, am i rite). This was off-putting for me and I knew I needed to try and step away from the scales. My weight does not define me. I now take regular, monthly progress pictures and base my progress on how I feel.

Educating yourself about food is key. There is so much information out there and it can be a little overwhelming but I do think it is important that you know what is in certain foods. I am now a firm believer in not restricting yourself by eliminating certain food groups just for the sake of it. It is not a healthy mindset and it is not sustainable long term.

Someone I would recommend to follow, and buy her book, is Rhiannon Lambert (also found at @rhitrition). She is a registered nutritionist and is consistently busting myths around diet culture and certain foods that are 'bad' for us. Her motto is 'nutrients not numbers' which is something I am really trying to adopt myself.

A couple of others to follow would be @aliceliveing and @lillysabri who both post amazing, balanced food (and killer workouts). Alice has a couple of books to her name and Lilly has a blog where you can find her recipes.

At the end of the day, if you are serious about your health and diet, it is about making small, sustainable changes. It's a lifestyle change not a crash diet.

CFG x